Hurry up and wait..

For those of you who have not been informed, my grandmother had a massive heart attack Saturday afternoon. She is currently in ICU at IRMAC. And I am currently doing what I do best...nothing. I am sitting here in the ICU waiting room, not because I can do anything for her, but because its the only thing that I can do. Like anyone, a situation such as this makes one feel utterly useless. Its a cold hard slap in the face for everyone who wants to help but the fact is that no one short of God above can. It's a slow, miserable, anxiety attack really. So here I sit in all my glory or lack thereof. Just me and my thoughts and my borrowed laptop. Minus the large portion of me that feels like I may have my own heart attack, I have many thoughts. And much like the routine here in the ICU, my thoughts are measured in small fractions of time. I have had thoughts from guilt to peace, sadness to happiness and everything in between. My guilt comes from being me. My nature is to be selfish. I want what I want and I make the assumption that everyone else wants what I want; they just may not know it!! I did not say I was proud of it, nor that I've become accustom to it, I hate it and its a daily struggle that I fight. I don't have any regrets when it comes to my relationship with my grandmother only the guilt of selfishness that I want things be my way. I want our relationship to continue for the rest of my life and that it be as it was before all of the changes. The changes that took place are simply that, changes. I am starting to realize that like life in general....nothing ever stays the same. Time is inevitable and with time comes change. I am starting to realize that as important our decisions are in this life, there is little we can do about change. Our decisions are really what we decide to do about the changes we each face. We can't control it, but we all have the capability to manage it. So it is that we must muster enough courage to accept the things we can not change. We can choose to accept them for what they are and somehow adjust to them, or we can fight them. The problem with fighting them I am begining to learn is that we will never win. We will only be tired and all to often, wounded. So the question we must ask ourselves is not "is it worth the battle?" because its a one-sided battle, there is always 1 winner and it is always the same one. The real question in all of it's ugliness and scaryness (at least to me) is really a challenge "what CAN I do?" Instead of fighting it and loosing a loosing battle...we must ask ourselves "how can I accept this AND find a way to be truly happy with it?" The fact is: there is a way. There is always a way. As much as I despise it, it comes down to the fact that it is more of a question of our own courage and sacrifice. It is the hardest answer to find. It is not even a question of "How bad do I want it?" but rather, " What am I willing to do to get it?" My grandmother who sits paces from me fighting for life (currently doing a great job at it) I am sure is asking herself the very same question. She is also the one whose lips often repeated the following words to me, "it may take hell and high water" . (Yes, this phrase most likely started out "hail and high water" but she has a way of spicing things up). She has used those words on may occasions referring to many different things, but I find it is fitting for exactly what I am trying to say. It just may take HELL and high water to bring myself to adjust to the changes that have taken place in many areas of my life, but unless I want to be tired and wounded, I better get moving. I've got fire and flames and storms to weather.

Crap 101

Once again it was a nice day outside and I was busy raking up my football field when Kart decided to grab his shovel and help..what a sweet boy! It wasn't long after he started to help me out when he randomly asked (without skipping a beat on the shoveling nor even raising his little head to look at me)"mom, whats crap made out of again?" as seriouse and normal as though we've had this conversation before... This was one of those moments where i needed that infamouse manual for raising children and answering difficult questions... i was trying not to laugh becuase he was certainly being seriouse and i was a little taken back. I was sure i swear enough for him to know that "crap" is probably not what he was refering too but it was nice to know he had no idea that i used it in a different way around our house! (bad mom, i know) So i asked him "I am not sure what you mean, what do you want to know?" and his responce was patient but as as laid back as could be, "you know crap mom...what's it made out of?" Still a little baffled and not sure if he was REALLY asking about bodily secreations or not i asked again "can you give me an example of what your talking about? I am sorry but i am not sure what crap it is your asking about.." a little irritated but still very seriouse he followed with "that stuff outside on the grass that Kirstin (his babysitter)put in her salt bucket and dumped out on her kitchen table for us to look at" At this point i couldnt contain it...i busted out with a full blown laugh as i asked one more time "Kart! What in the world are you talking about?? Kirstin put CRAP in a bucket and dumped it on the kitchen table????? " and sure enough...i had done it! He was not the least bit happy with my laughter! He dropped his shovel and looked at me very sternly with his hands out and palms up and said very a-matter-of-factly...."YES MOM! CRAP! IT WAS CRAP! YOU KNOW CRAP??" and i got a bit testy for the attitude and and answered with a simple "yes". I was fully ready to describe to my son at this point EXACTLY what "CRAP" was and how little boys turn into it for talking to their mother the way he just did to his when he asked one more time "SO WHATS IT MADE OF?????!!!! I KNOW ITS NOT SNOW AND ITS NOT RAIN!!" THAN...the light turned on and i asked..."are you talking about HAIL??" "ya, thats it! whats it made of again?" :) Where he got "CRAP" from i will never know...but its certainly one for the books!! :)

Oh, the smell of victory...i mean lilacs...

Love those summer Saturdays working in the yard! Currently our landscaping is “under construction”! Crunk (a.k.a. Eric, courtesy of J & S) has a new passion for chain saws! (Yet another trait defining the o-so accurate nick-name!) He’s a brute! In fact, since he started on a few shrubs I wasn’t fond of and asked him to get rid of…I’ve noticed at least 3 trees missing! Not including the three large shrubs I asked for! After tilling the front portion of our lawn that looks like butt I found him wondering around the house with that look in his eye, chain saw in hand, and zoned out of anything but the noise of that bad-boy. I was half scared to approach him, but it if I knew if I didn’t…we’d be the closest thing these days to the description of Nephi’s days in the “wilderness”!!! And, you all know me….I LOVE A CHALLENGE!!  So, I hesitated for a moment but it was short lived and I perused a “discussion” about the situation. However, when I arrived out back I instantly became more interested in “discussing” the fact he told me he was going out back to get rid of that “little ugly tree” that turned out to be the full grown lilac bush that admittedly doesn’t look hot after a long winter but turns into a huge beautiful blooming bush in the spring! Indeedy…we had “the discussion”!! I’ll spare you the details but let’s say Crunk put the chain saw up! (This is my blog so I can tell it how I want!) But, in all fairness, I should mention he stood by his “idea” to get rid of the “ugly little” (20’ LILAC) bush and old stump as he did so! I went back to leveling out my tilled up “football field” gloating in my point-proven victory!! Yes, I know…you’d think that I’d learn not to gloat in my victories because…well….I’m usually humbled quickly…and I was. The next day at church I was rounding up the kidz and met up with Eric when he casually mentioned “that must have been some important ugly little tree I cut down cuz about 4 people have mentioned they noticed it was gone and it hasn’t even been 24hrs yet “. As you can imagine, my pride got the best of me…again…gloating and lecturing in I told-you-so’s, with an uncontrollable grin from ear to ear when our “Man-Stewart” (male version of Martha) neighbor (whose family has owned practically the entire block that we live on until recently with our purchase and whom also has an impeccable yard/garden) walked up to us. At this point I can hardly contain myself from an all out burst of “the victory dance” !! I can already see the lecture I know Eric’s going to receive for cutting down that lilac bush old Billy and Daisy planted there in 1826, got married under in 1830 and built our house around in 1838!!! Setting couldn’t have been better for my final un-spoken victory!! That was until he gave Crunk an atta’ boy for knowing that lilac’s need to be cut down to the stump every so many years so they can grow back full and beautiful and than topped it off with…”that ones needed it for years!” Soooo…here I am sending a special thanks to Man Stewart! 1 for Crunk-0 for me!

Mission Statement

Ok. Ok. So I think I am the actual winner of the “worst blogger” award! Summer is a close second lately though!! She does have a better excuse I have to admit! So, lately I have been re-inspired by an un-domesticated diva to look at life again as a stage for a great comic show! So often I forget how funny everyday life is…I do get a laugh out the small things, but its time I share these things so the laugh can continue. It makes that small chuckle or that moment when I was searching desperately for air and a tissue to wipe the mascara racing down my cheeks in those once- in -a life- time- couldn’t- have- been -written –moments all the better! You know the kind I am talking about…the questions from your o-so-innocent children that force you to go looking for the bottom half of your jaw or even the witty responses you make to recover the un-hinged jaw without your children noticing because you have NO IDEA what the eff (thank you undomesticated diva) to say! Yea, those. We all have em, we laugh later and usually in tears as we talk to our spouses about em or even a few friends but some are quickly forgotten and never mentioned to anyone again. It’s a shame really…they are what life is all about! So…my goal is to share them and my blog is the perfect opportunity to announce my stubborn but hysterical short-comings and my family’s grab-a-tissue mis-happs!! I challenge each of you to find a few things a week or if you are a master blogger, at least one funny moment in each day and post them on my blog. If you read something funny or find a great joke, I want here! If you are a stubborn turd like myself and want to laugh at the stupid things you got mad about or your silly attempts to be right…I want to heat them! I want this to be a blog of laughter! Somewhere we can all go to laugh at ourselves and the challenges we all face. We all need a little more! I will do my best to keep it up! The name of my blog is learning to laugh at life’s adventures and I want to challenge you to help me…don’t get me wrong my lifes pretty funny…but its awesome to read others for a good laugh! It makes life more enjoyable knowing were not the only nut-jobs trying to make it in this world!!

Check out my Slide Show!

Time Warp???

A week. A month. It’s all the same right??? Seriously… I often wonder what it was that I did with all my time before I had kids because I didn’t think I had any time then…but….now they seem to occupy all of it. They are synonymous with blood thirsty leaches!! So…we all got over the sickness lingering in our home…and we are doing well! Kylie has a new love for transportation now that she is walking and is doing exceedingly well with her Spanish. She recently began the adventure of riding a bike (training wheels of course) and truly enjoys the outdoors. Karter is currently focused on solving world hunger and has recently asked me to assist him with the task of creating his first clone (we barrowed the neighbors dog to start with…we figured one blaze is enough). The Wren home is certainly ready for summer! We have a lot of plans but I suppose if you are keeping up on the weather here in eastern Idaho you’d understand that they are more realistically fantasies than plans! However, working at the city I was recently made aware that our local gravel pit is filling rapidly with water so if the sunshine decides to grace us for longer than 3 hrs with out snow fall proceeding…we may enjoy Jensen’s grove a few times this upcoming season! I noticed my children had been tagged in my lapse of updating our blog, so I had better catch up…I hear Summer is patiently waiting…or is that whining?? 

Dr. say what??

Okay, my apologies….again… it’s been a week or so since my last entry!! This time it’s totally legit though!! When kylie was diagnosed with pneumonia Karter had a little cough and Kylie was getting better slowly but surely and then by Friday evening Karter had a low grade fever and all day Saturday it was around 101 but broke quickly with Tylenol. By Monday he was lethargic, and I couldn’t keep his attention or keep him awake. I took his temp and it was 103.1. I got him to swallow some Tylenol as I rushed into the clinic and they got him in immediately. His oxygen was 87 and the Tylenol I gave him as we left the house had brought his temp to 101.7. They took x-rays and sure enough…Kart had pneumonia. He had it in both lungs…he got a “super-anti-biotic” shot and antibiotic prescription to take at home…with an appointment to come back wed. Unless anything has changed. We made it to Wednesday…Tuesday he was given a blessing by my Bishop and my Boss. I had to rotate Motrin and Tylenol every 4 hrs or his fever was up to 103 and gaining. Wed we went in and his O2 was 91 he was slowly getting better. Still had a fever but that’s normal. We treated his fever and by Friday when he still had a high temp I took him back in. ANOTHER Shot!! He seems to be getting better each day…sleeping a lot, hardly eating (he’s lost 8lbs and counting) but the Dr. says that’s normal. He’s not having trouble breathing or coughing and his fever is a low grade fever so I guess I should be happy with that! Hate seeing him like this…doesn’t really care about anything…just wants to sleep. So…my weeks been exciting to say the least! Try to give you more tonight!